a thought.

I've been thinking a lot about character lately. When people consider potential "significant others," they always talk about personality, what kind of music the person listens to and other things just as inconsiquential. I myself have been one of these people. But recently I've been realizing the value of character. Character is something that reveals the core of a person, and is what will ultimately endure when bands break up and that cunning wit cuts a little too deep.

Jane Austen talks much of character in her books. In "Persuasion" what is percieved to be weakness of character nearly keeps Anne and Captain Wentworth from being together. In "Pride and Predjudice" Darcy's original folly's are forgotten after he shows depth of character. Emma chooses character over personality in the novel by the same name. And the list goes on. Why is it that so much weight is put on strength of character? I think it is because of what character reveals. Personalites can be fun, and it's nice to like the same things, but those are not enduring. It is when you dig into someone's heart, see where their passions and actions lie, that you see that person for who they really are. While I'm not completely discounting the compatability of personalities and what-not, I think good old Jane was onto something in her recurring theme of character. I'd much rather be with someone who brings joy to my life, challenges me and carries the qualities of faithfulness, patience and forgiveness. I think if someone has a solid foundation in who they are, the other things will fall into place.

Thinking about this also challenges me to develop my own character, and work on forming my own solid foundation. The other day I read Galatians, and was once again struck by the fruit of the Spirit. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Looks like Jane Austen wasn't the only one encouraging the importance of these things. And did you notice that it's "fruit of the Spirit" not "fruits"? All of these characteristics go together. A package deal, not al-a-carte. That's a challenge, but I think I'm up to it. I want to know who I am in Christ and let that show in all my words and actions. It's not easy, but I'm also not doing it alone.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

sniffles.

“Oh my, do children not even know what handkerchiefs are? A handkerchief is a Kleenex you don't throw away. My mother embroidered it for me -- you see? My initials and a daisy, because daisies are my favorite flower.”
- Kathleen Kelly, “You’ve Got Mail”


Handkerchiefs are so pretty, what with their lace, embroidery and setimentality... tuck one in your purse to wipe away tears at a beautiful wedding, get one handed to you by your favorite gentleman caller... how nice. Then reality hits. While the idea of using a handkerchief is rather romantic [think: Anita and Roger in 101 Dalmatians, Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks in the above-mentioned You’ve Got Mail or any number of gentlemen handing theirs to a lovely lady], the reality of it is pretty gross. Blowing your nose into a square of fabric, only to stick it back into your pocket for it to dry and crust and later pull it out for use again. Not so romantic anymore. While I see their practicality, I just don’t think I could bring myself to use and reuse one. It’s hard enough for me to get myself to use a cloth napkin. And what if you get a bloody nose? Not only do you ruin your handkerchief, but you’re bound to run out of cloth before your nose runs out of blood. And then what?

They certainly do fit well into the whole “green” revolution though. Throw it into the wash instead of throwing away a box of used tissues. Kind of along the lines of cloth diapers. And yet I’m still stuck at the place of the idea being a great one and the reality being a bit repulsive.

I wish I could bring myself to use one, but I’m afraid I’m going to have to stick with my 21st century-living on this subject. This is one of those modern-plumbing, what-we-have-today-is-better-than-the-alternative deals. Give me a box of Kleenexes. Not as pretty to look at in theory, but at the end of the day I can throw it away instead of having a mess in my pocket.

you've got mail.

Yesterday I received a letter from my dear friend Sophia. The hand-written, return address and stamp kind. I wish more people sent letters. There are very few things quite so thrilling as opening up your mailbox to find an envelope with a personal note inside, written by someone who cares for you and took the time to write it out. So much more personal than a facebook message or email, a letter requires thought and time.

I think we get too impatient for letters though. Why would you want to take the time to hand-write something, pay to send it, and know the person you wrote to won't get it for several days, when you can easily send a quick note over the internet? Well, I think that's just why we should send letters to those we care about most. It's too easy to click on someone's profile and send a message, and suddenly you expect instant gratification. If they haven't written back within a couple of hours you imagine they are snubbing you, or simply did not care about what you wrote. But letters require thought, and the effort to find paper, envelopes, stamps, a pen and articulate your feelings. Even if it's a short note, sending it through the postal service shows the heart behind it.

My grandpa used to write me letters when I was younger, telling me stories about his childhood and growing-up years. I would get so excited every time I received that personal envelope in the mail, and knew he wrote these out because he loved me and wanted to leave something for me to hold on to. Today I consistenly write letters to a couple of my friends. Having that tangible piece of paper in front of you is so special, and allows you to keep it forever, instead of scrolling through the archives of your inbox to find an email. I tie all my letters together with a ribbon so that I can easily find them and look back on them to be encouraged. Letters bridge the gap of time and space. And really, how pretty is a well-worn letter and envelope?

Letters have been written for centuries upon centuries, and I think it is a practice we should not so quickly give up, simply because we have faster forms of communication. Not only can you find joy in encouraging someone on paper, but imagine the pay-off when you recieve one in return. Suddenly you realize what you've been missing. And you can't go back.

earl grey.

“You can’t get a cup of tea big enough or a book long enough to suit me.” - C.S. Lewis

This past weekend I headed to my hometown to watch my best friend get married. I was her personal attendant, and it was so fun to be a part of that weekend with her. My parents no longer live in my hometown, but my grandparents still do, so I stayed with them for the weekend. They have a wonderful house filled with beautiful old things, all of which have a story of their lives tied in. On top of the wedding, it was great to just spend time with them, and hear some wise words. As the weekend neared its end, my grandma brought my sister and I into the kitchen and told us we could each pick out a couple of her old tea cups. Be still my heart.

I have a growing collection of tea cups, and to have a part of my grandma in that collection is all that I could hope for. Every time I go to an antique store I search for one or two old tea cups that has something unique or special about it. Tea cups are so beautiful and dainty, and I know that I can find one wherever I go if I do a little searching. It’s fun knowing that whichever one I find could have come from anywhere in the world. Each tea cup I buy is different, and I think it's fun to have different styles and personalities represented in my collection. They represent a time, place, person - a story. If only tea cups could talk...I'm sure they've seen some lovely times.

Besides the ones my grandma just gave me, most of my tea cups have been antiqued, and many are from trips I’ve taken or special times spent with people I love. Last spring break I went on a road trip with some of my good friends, and one morning we stopped at a huge antique store in Tennessee. Instead of buying a tacky souvenir on that trip, that I’d inevitably regret and pay too much for, I treated myself to a lovely tea cup with the most delicate roses and scallops on the side. This summer I spent a wonderful week in northern Wisconsin with one of my best friends, and while antiquing, found two more lovely tea cups. They are beautiful reminders of those times spent in fun places with people I love.

When I was in middle school, my grandma, sister and I have a tea party in her beautiful garden. Recently, we’ve been talking about having a grown-up tea party, making delicious little treats and using real tea cups (the first round, I believe we used my doll-sized teddy bear pattern tea set...). The idea of putting on your best dress and favorite hat, packing up some finger cakes and tea cups and heading out to the garden just makes my heart sing. Those Austen-era girls who traipsed around the English countryside and got to do that daily were lucky.

I think there’s something to be said for setting aside a bit of time each day to relax over a cup of tea, especially when it’s with a friend. Whenever I go to my other grandma’s house, she serves me up some tea and we have some great discussions. My parents have a cup of tea together every night. I think that’s nice. Taking time out of your day to reflect, and maybe gain a bit of perspective and advice from whoever you’re with. mmm...

A good cup of tea from a lovely tea cup - there’s nothing like it. Add a good friend or an old book and it’s about as perfect as life can be.

not all who wander are lost.

There is nothing like the smell of fresh air, especially in the fall. The very thought of it makes me want to run outside and just bask in it. And yet it seems that, what with televisions, air conditioning and the internet, people spend more and more time indoors. This social transition from outdoor to indoor living makes me a little sad. I am so thankful that, as a child, I was encouraged to spend time outside and let my creativity flow as I ran around. Though I never lived in a big city until college, I always lived in town, which meant we didn't have a huge yard. However, my best friend growing up lived out in the country, with plenty of space to roam. I went there as many weekends as possible, and the only thing that kept us inside the house when I was there was sub-zero temperatures. We wandered the cornfields, played in the pasture, searched the woods for treasures and one autumn made a lovely "house" out of leaves. We also spent many days riding her horses or playing in the goat pen and sheep barn, and there were plenty of kittens to hunt down (though you had to be careful of the sick ones, or they just might get sick all over you...but that's another story for another day).

Many of my fondest memories took place at Kate's house, as we could let our imaginations venture as far as we could ride our bikes, and there were endless places and people we could become, simply by being together. I can think of very few times that we cooped ourselves up inside. It makes me sad to think of all the kids who spend there whole childhoods stuffed up in a basement playing video games or watching mindless television shows for hours on end. Sure, I've had those days, but I can't imagine living your entire life that way.

When I read old books, especially the Jane Austin, 1800s time-period type, it seems that the heroine always does her best contemplating and imagining when she's out-of-doors, wandering the moors or romping about fields of flowers. And Anne Shirley couldn't get enough of being outside, and would only reluctantly go into Green Gables at Marilla's command. I think so many people today have lost their ability to lose themselves in the beauty of creation. Between all that there is to do today, from strict schedules and interesting electronics to addictive entertainment, we have lost our fascination with nature, one of God's most beautiful gifts, and the wanderings and imaginings that go along with it.

This summer I was able to spend some time in the north woods of Wisconsin, and it was absolutely lovely. Though I love living in the city, and don't see myself moving to a small town in the middle of nowhere anytime soon, it was so nice to escape for a while and let my mind roam again. Although I still find times and places to walk around outside in the city, there is something about the woodsy wilderness or wide-openness of a field that let's your mind and creativity come alive. It was so good to rediscover that this summer, and remind myself to find time to do that more often, as it always dusts the cobwebs off my imagination, and brings me back to those glorious childhood days.

sweet nostalgia.

I love old things. Antiques, classic novels, a good Audrey flick and the game of cribbage. There's just something sturdy and classy about these things that you can't find today without really digging. And while I certainly don't want to live in the past, and am absolutely thankful to live in an age where I can flush the toilet and use the internet, I think there are lessons to be learned from days gone by. Or sometimes just a pretty tea cup to enjoy. Looking back can not only teach you some wonderful life lessons, it can take you to places and introduce you to people that you've never known, but are somehow able to change you.
It's funny how I can feel homesick for a time I never lived or place I've never been. But I think that picking up an old photograph, digging through some vintage clothes, or just buckling down with some good old-fashioned ideals allows you to step back into a time where the here-and-now of every day was a bit more appreciated and when people knew how to write a good letter and bake a mean apple pie. From scratch. I like that time. So why not take the occasional step back to those lovely sepia-toned days and appreciate what the past has given us? It's high time I learned how to make something with my hands, be that lasagna or a dress, savor each moment in life as it comes and read a little more Anne of Green Gables.
I can't just wake up and become a pioneer forging my way to the unknown West, Jo March selling her hair and scribbling away in the attic or a woman entering the workforce during World War 2, but I can spice up my modern life with some of their classic ideals and practices.